Where is George, The Zombie Tortoise?

My good old pal George who lived in the Galapagos.... I just went there to have a chat and a salad and...he is gone. Forever. That is the problem with extinction... it really means gone forever. I will miss you George.

Aren't Zombies a Freak of Nature?

Nope. If you think about it, we are very honest and almost harmless creatures. All we want is to survive. Freaks of Nature are those who kill for pleasure, harm for a profit or use a position of power to gain something for themselves. Zombies are God creatures, a bit unconventional, but at the end we fulfill a purpose in this messed up world.

What Language Do Zombies Speak?

We all speak ...well...zombie. It is an endangered language and hopefully soon it will be incorporated to Google's Endangered Languages Project, as we are creatures in danger of disappearing.

Famous and Smart art NOT the Same Thing!

I still remember when I was having a nice cold Limoncetto with pope Sixto IV -he liked his Limoncetto- when I suggested to him to build a Cathedral ...he was so exited that he decided to go ahead. In any event the Vatican was a pretty big empty space. So, either it was a Cathedral or a parking lot. The problem with the parking lot was that there were no cars. They built the Cathedral.
Then, of course we had to name it after him (in 1470 we named things after Church personalities not politicians).

Oh if Sixto was alive... he would have called this teen idol to have a private talk with him (priests love to have private talks with teens) to clarify that it is not the Sixteenth Chapel...but Sixtine, named after him.

Zombie Car Parking Space Prices NY Chapter

Zombies hate to look for parking -YES, we DO drive-... it is fortunate that we really don't spend that much money as we are frugal, so money is not an issue. Nowadays the minimum price asked for a parking garage which is 12 feet (3.66 m) wide, 23 feet (7 m) long and 15 feet (4.6 m) high at 66 E. 11th Street in Manhattan, NYC is a whooping $1,000,000.00 US.... peanuts for me but a lot for most of you, the 99%.

We need good quality tools for good quality jobs.

I hate when this happens. That is why I only buy good quality tools.

From The Book of Knowledge MCI

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

Are Zombies Inmortal?

Nope. Thanks God we are not, otherwise we would be paying taxes forever!... unlike ghosts we are mortal but...unforgettable.

Can Zombies Run?

YES. Zombies CAN run, but just when the occasion call for it (otherwise what's the hurry ?). For example zombies run from fast food and get-this-for-free promotions.

Do Zombies Like Sports?

Are you kidding me?...we LOVE sports, specially soccer. We are all at the Euro-cup right now. This is a picture of my best friends cheering up for Italy.
We actually don't practice sports -that is boring and stupid-, but watching it live or on TV is the best!

Disappointments in Life I

I went shopping yesterday and I found this sign on a door. Disappointed to say the least.

Necrophilia Has Gone Viral!

Or at least in the penguin world, where Adiele penguins are doing that strange but comforting -for zombies- activity for centuries.

Now it is all over the news. They just rediscovered George Murray Levick's notes when traveling alongside Captain Robert Scott to the Antarctic. He call the scene "evidence of astonishing depravity"... I call it being alone in the cold and with nothing better to do. Zombie logic at its best.

Zombie Animals XXV

Hamsters. Stupid little furry creatures. They creep me out.

Happy Zombie's Fathers Day!!!

Oh...I feel so important. I have given the world a special creature that I call son.... your welcome!

Memories from a Zombie's Childhood IV

I had a great childhood... I always felt safe at home. When my mom went to work at the coal mine, she always left me in a safe and well ventilated space. Even she left for me some water and crackers (which funny enough they looked a lot like doggy treats)

From The Book of Knowledge CIX

If you are able to smile when everything has gone wrong it is because you just discovered who to blame for it.

Zombies LOVE Kevin...

He makes me feel like I have the perfect family...

One more...Zombies Take Precautions

Zombies take all necessary precautions so we don't produce new unwanted little zombies. This is the newest zombie condom that is in fashion right now. Highly recommended.