What Zombies Don't Need Anymore I

Zombies have little or no possessions whatsoever. We really don't need stuff, but, somehow this is in my "who cares if I have it or not" list:

1. Post Offices... I don't even recall being in one for such long long time....
2. Cheques... what is that?...they are so 20th Century. Gone by 2018.
3. Paper Money... plastic is better and smells nicer... coins?...please!
4. Newspapers... who still reads newspapers....grandpas?
5. Paper Books... a waste of space and, in any event aren't all books the same?...same letters different order... really humans... be creative!
6. Phone lines.... with a wire?.... really?....
7. Music.... I haven't heard something new worth a penny since, well... long long time. Music creativity is dying...with the exception of Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga, of course.
8. TV... paying a monthly fee to watch what you can get right away from your cellphone?...
9. Privacy... who cares if Google can give me free internet access, Facebook keeps me in touch with my friends and Tweeter allows me to see what my friends are doing...
10. Hard Drives... oh... so 70's... sight...

This zombie wants to try Taco Bell !!

The problem is...where do I find the big tortilla thing?...I found the bell.... Humans crave this Taco Bell food item... I am curious....stupid humans...stupid tacos....now what do I do with the stupid bell?

Do Female Zombies Have Orgasms?

YES they do. There is a very useful and practical study done by Dr. Zachary Smith  (Harvard) that managed to classify their orgasms:

1. Asthmatic: Ahh...ahhh....ahhh...
2. Geographical: There, there, there!
3. Mathematic: More, more, more!
4. Religious: Oh my God!
5. Suicidal : I am dying, I am dying!
6. Homicidal: If you stop now I will kill you!
7. Zootechnical: Come to me my lion!
8. Cheer Leader: Go, go, go!
9. Spanish Teacher: Si, si, dios mío!
10. Driving Instructor: Don't stop!, ...continue!...don't stop!, go on!...
11. Negative: No...no...no...
12. Positive: Yes, yes, yes!!!
13. Manners Educator: Yes, that's it...very well...fine... perfect...
14. Misinformed: What is this?...What are you doing to me?...
15. System Analist: OK, we have achieved our goal.
16. Foreseer: I can see it coming...it's almost there...I can see it...
17. Faker: Oh, fantastic!...now let's watch TV
18. Confused: Oh yes...oh no....oh God...
19. Baseball Fan: It's going, It's  going....goooooone!
20. The Prophet: It's coming, it's coming!.....

Being Human?

Do zombies want to be...gasp...human?
I don't think so. It is like if humans wanted to be like...cows. Cows are human food; humans are zombie's food.