Do Zombies use a Step Counter?

YES. Actually we do...and there are many reasons why we use a step counter being the main one to count steps. The only issue we have is that our fingers get extremely tired, hurt and get swollen.

As zombies usually do, we all use the same kind of step counter (we buy bulk...it is cheaper) and all of us have the same problem. Some are going back to count in their heads, but I am a very fashionable zombie and I use the one in the picture.

Of Zombies and Wives V

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the Enemy

Luis Suarez: Cannibal or Zombie?

We have been discussing this for a while now: is Luis Suarez a cannibal or is he a zombie?... some say that he is a cannibal as he used to play for the Nacional and all Nacional's players are cannibals  (my Peñarol fan friend told me that) which could make sense but I say he is a zombie, but a stupid one as he hasn't learned where the brains are (OK...he is Uruguayan...got it).

Is it an Eagle?...Is it a Plane?... NO it's.... a Zombie!

I was in the stadium... it just happens that I was BEHIND this noble aztec warrior. To solve the problem I watched the game on my Iphone, somehow it just doesn't feel like the real thing.

Do Zombies Practice Oral Sex?

Actually we do even though we know that it carries some risk. We have lost some members by doing this... literally.

Zombie Planet VI

Yes, we have seen many changes in this planet...many. As we can't keep track on all changes we identify the current planet by the countries' most important features.

My 2014 World Cup Zombie Predictions

Zombies like football (or soccer like they call it ONLY in North America). No doubt. Now with all the time in our hands -what else do a zombie has to do but be?... we like to bet between us who is going to win the Brazil 2014 World Cup.

My system is infallible, I tell you. So here are my 99.9% accurate predictions for the first round. Mark the date and prepare to be amazed... I WILL be right. Remember we can't see the future but we do have the experience time only can give, one more perk to become a zombie.

Here are the ones who will make it to the second round:

Group A: Brazil
Group B: Chile
Group C: Colombia
Group D: Uruguay
Group E: France
Group F: Argentina
Group G: Germany
Group H: USA

Here we have the ones who will make it to quarter finals:

Brazil
Germany
Chile
Argentina

And here I present you the third place final:

Germany
Chile

And the final match will be:

Brazil
Argentina

And the winner will be...

I will leave you with the anxiety of not knowing until my mid June post...

Have fun, and if you don't agree with me...then be prepared to be wrong (I wonder how it feels though)

By the way if you are going to print or reproduce this just name the source and if you are planing to bet money... I get 50% no questions asked.

Wall Street Zombie, the 99%

Yep, we have representation in Wall Street. The other day I was visiting some friends and saw this guy. 99% of thought that he looked stupid. Only one who thought that he was funny (yes...the1%)...we beat him until he, voluntarily, changed his point of view. I love democracy.

Pentagon VS Zombies (CONOP 8888)

If you still think that zombies is a made up urban legend, a fantasy or a sci-fi character... guess again. The Pentagon (yes...THAT Pentagon) has invested a whack load of money to develop a contingency plan in the very probable zombie invasion.

Known by its code name, CONOP 8888, or Counter Zombie Dominance, this plan is designed to be prepared because "zombies pose a threat to all non-zombie human life".

Two things to consider here:

1. The Pentagon acknowledges that zombies ARE a threat to humanity, therefore zombies exist.
2. The plan, cute as it is, is worth nothing. We have the actual plan. We have studied it. We know how to counter-attack. Be ready. We are coming.

If you still thing this is not real, google the plan's code and, if you can actually read it you will notice that at the end of the document it states that "this plan is not actually designed as a joke".

Lazarus... a Jesus Trick?

OK...we are celebrating Easter again... and the question remains. Was Lazarus the first zombie of our time?...or he was used as a propaganda instrument for Jesus' purposes... was it for real or smoke and mirrors?... the question remains...

Did Zombies Watched Gravity?

OK...zombies go to the movies, a known fact. This zombie went to see this movie and didn't like the ending...until they released this one. Happy Zombie.

The Returned... Zombies or Not?

Humans are misinformed. Somehow they think that all zombies are created (created?) the same. They are so wrong. Zombies come in different forms being the ones with rotten flesh and eating brains the most popular.

Now... there are many other kinds, like The Returned, who happens to be people's deceased family... but they just wanted to come back and hang around the living. They don't crave for brains nor they can sleep. Nevertheless they WERE dead but NOW they are pretty much "alive" and sharing beer with their loved ones. That falls into the Zombie category.

Personally I like The Returned. They are a remarkable branch of the zombie species.  

From Zombies and Math

If humans can solve ALL problems with math, so they say (ie. Malaysian MA370), why can't zombies do the same?
Think about it...you fear us without math -you assume we are ignorants-...can you imagine your panic if you learn that we, as a fact, do all our planning using math?...Ha!

Zombies Only Need to be Loved!

That's all. Come near us and we will show you love...

Zombies don't Understand Art

We really don't understand art. I have spent one week just looking at this piece of art (AR 501)... is it "destructivism?

Are We The Last Living Souls?

I don't think so...but I like the song though...

Zombie's Best Moments in Life I

Zombies enjoy life too. We treat ourselves with some indulgences. There is nothing more comforting than having an interesting conversation while pooping.

Rigor Mortis Zombie Style!

Oh yes...zombies also like going to the movies -and popcorn too-

Humans are Stupid! I

Humans always RUN when they see us. I guess they haven't realized that speed is something we lack of...

Game of Thrones, zombie style

I know... crazy isn't it?
And at the end there is nothing they can do about it.