Top questions about Zombies

People have many many questions about Zombies. As a REAL zombie, I will try to answer as many questions as I can, having in mind that if your question is just plain irrational, I will not answer it. Here we go:

1. Are you a REAL zombie?

-YES, yes I am.

2. That means that you are brain-dead but walking around people?

-I said I am a ZOMBIE, not a teenager.

3. Do you eat brains?

-Actually I do, but it is not my main diet. I absolutely love those Mexican "quesadillas de seso" (seso means brain in Spanish)... of course those are cow brains, not people's. I am a zombie, not a weirdo.

4. Do you become alive at night?

-Nope. I am a morning person.

5. Are there more like you?

-Yes, there are many like me. Just keep in mind that there is a big difference between a zombie and a politician, bureaucrat or single-over-fourty.

6. Are you dead?

-Sure, and you can read dead people's blogs.

7. Are you a soul in pain?
-Yes, I have been married for a long time.

8. Are male zombies the same as female zombies?
-NO. Male zombies are from Mars and female zombies are from Venus.