How to Communicate with a Zombie

Easy...ENUNCIATE!... you just keep screaming, running or trying to attack us. Please people...communicate!

Zombie Kids Are To Be Cherished

Not!
I don't know who got this brilliant idea that children must be protected and loved no matter what. Just a hundred years ago children were considered cheap labour. Now we must keep them "innocent and trouble free" until they reach they adulthood. Are you out of your collective minds?
Children and their little hands... full of energy. Great for cheap labour. Put them to work.

From The Book of Knowledge VIII

In any given group, the freak is often easy to find. 

Zombies Have Selected Memory

You can't denny that. After 60 years history seems to take a new perspective of reality. You can soon have in your hands a multicolour $100.00 Argentinian Pesos paper bill (which buys you... a soda?) with the image of Evita Peron. Argentinians are honouring her. Zombie memory.

Zombie Toys for Little Boys

Zombies come in different sizes and gender. Of course there are zombie kids, and one of the most popular toys zombie kids play with is, of course...LEGO. Your little undead one can spend thousands of hours playing with this interesting toy  -which is expensive, but who cares- and will not be bothering you with their annoying needs and whines.

You can buy this set at Lego.com. Fun.

The Dark Knight Rises, Zombie Style

There are Dark Knights and there are Dark Knights. Ours REALLY rise, like the Pillsbury Boy.

How to Have Fun With a Zombie LMCXCIV

Zombies are fun!
Today's recommendation is...take your zombie friend to a paint ball match. The deal: if you kill your zombie friend with a paintball, no hard feelings and you win. If you loose, your zombie friend will eat your brains and welcome you to the zombie world. A win-win situation.

Zombie Geography CIX. Timbuktu.

Where is Timbuktu?
This is a frequent question zombies get -I don't know why, though-....so for my ignorant readers: here it is... the exact location of Timbuktu. Your welcome.

Are Zombies Good in Bed?

Yes we are, no shame in that. Our peak is when we reach Rigor Mortis, well, that is for male zombies.

Zombie Summer Fun II

We LOVE day trips. We start by coordinating using social media -tweeter and Facebook are favourites- and then we decide on a sunny and sandy destination. Then we pack our stuff and lunches (or eat hot-dogs on site...contents are the same as what we are used to eat everyday)... pack up the speedos and let the fun begin!
Zombies love Summer.

Zombie Activities for Summer I

Zombies are busy during Summer. We must attend, between other activities, our spawns. My wife has suggested that our youngest -Darth- take swimming lessons...you never know if the end of the world will be a flooding. He complains a lot. What is new?

Zombies LOVE Logic Thinking. The Math Dos Not Lie Chapter

Zombies LOVE logic and math (you didn't know that eh?)... so, for those illiterate here are the word translation. You do the math.
1. To get a woman, you need time and money, so: Woman = Time + Money
2. Time is Money: Time = Money
3. We replace 1 in 2: Woman = Money + Money (Money)2
4. Money is the root of all problems: Money = Root of problems
5. We replace 4 into 5: Woman = Even out square root with square
 Therefore Women = Problems.

Zombie Logic at its best.

Zombies Love To Snack!

Sure, why not?
Zombies are not always eating healthy food. Sometimes we indulge in some craving-satisfying snacks. Today I had some Zombie Chews. I like the cherry-brain flavour.

Friday Night with a Zombie

Oh Gosh, it is so much fun to go out on a Friday night with a zombie. After a tiring and long week of work, walking looking like we have no idea where are we going or what are we looking for -don't be fooled, WE KNOW-, Friday's night is time for relax and fun.

Tonight I am going out with my friends -who happens to be the same group I am with all week long- and get some refreshing drinks and some brain empanadas. Tonight is empanada night!

Are Zombies a Cult?

Nothing like that. Zombies are not a cult nor a religion. We are a non-profit Organization who happens to like certain non traditional lifestyle.

Zombie Psychology Test I

How to know if you are a zombie?

Easy. First start by going to your neighbourhood psychologist. He will try to make lots of appointments just to maintain his lifestyle. Say no to that. Instead INSIST to get, right away a "zombie psychology ink blot test". If the results are positive, most likely the psychologist would have run for his life by then. Then you know you are in the right track. More to come.

Vaccine Zombie

Bird flu is approaching again. Be afraid, be prepared. All zombies must report to their nearest Vaccine Station, Doctor or Pharmacist and get a vaccination. I know this as I watched on CNN, a very trusted source. Zombies love vaccinations. We are prepared for everything.

Zombies Find Marriage Useful and Necessary

Contrary to popular misconception, zombies are not loners, we highly appreciate company (have you notice that we usually travel in groups?)... but, most importantly, we find that wives are a very important  part of our life. We find wives to be charming, loving and most importantly...useful. I highly recommend having a wife. Life becomes easier somehow.

Zombies LOVE Bagpipes

Oh yes, zombies love music...our favourite instrument is the bagpipe. There is something in that sound that make us happy.

Zombie's Sustainability Solution XXIX

Zombies are the paradigm of sustainability. We recycle everything, I mean EVERYTHING- and of course we have intelligent proposals for human issues that affect our ecosystem. For transportation we propose SHARING, not biking, which is a stupid and dangerous solution. Zombies hate bikers.

Zombies Hate Subliminal Messages!

Sooo...I came back home to find this items in the kitchen. First I thought the wife wanted me to prepare fruit salad. Wrong!
That night I had to run for my life -or the life of Precious, my loyal companion- as the wife meant something different. I hate subliminal messages.