Zombie Woman on her CELL in 1928

Charles Chaplin's The Circus which was released in 1928 shows a scene where a woman is actually talking on a cell phone. I am telling you... we have been around for a long long time. We travel trough time. We know stuff...

Eye Of The Beholder IV

Did you know...

That the atomic bomb and the AK-47 were created in the same year and that there are close to 80,000  (although the official number is 25,000) atomic bombs in the planet of which 35,000 (officially 9,000) belong to the USA and that there are 100,000,000 (yes, that is one hundred million) AK-47s?... AND that the AK-47 is responsible of killing more than 250,000 people so far?

And people think that zombies are scary....

Copiapo's Rescue Nintendo Style

Underground Economy

Finally. A good ending. The 33 Chilean miners are alive and safe. Like most zombies in this planet, I like better alive than dead. It was about time to get ONE good news between the array of bad news that we are fed with everyday.

What saddens to this not-so-humble zombie is the marketing apparatus that has been built around something that started as a tragedy and ended as a triumph. CNN took the ordeal as its own and feed the people with 24/7 live coverage. CNN and the big TV corporations are masters of making money out of a tragedy as well as of amazing news. They capitalize everything. Everything.

Then came the personal stories, the Super-Mario, the infidel, the one with two wives, the young one, the eldest. Along came the book proposals, the movie deal, the eye ware branding, product placement, the proud Chilean flags, the president, the CEO of the company. What kind of power bar were they eating?...what deodorant were they using?... what was keeping their teeth clean?...where they using Oxi-Clean?

There are rumours that the mining company will declare bankruptcy, which means that the workers will get zero compensation for their ordeal and long term unknown side effects of what they went trough.

Many many people will make money out of this event, but I highly doubt that the miners will be between those.

Monkey Business II

My friend Tipu's throne

This incredibly beautiful god tiger head was part of the throne of my old friend Tipu Sultan, way back in 1780. Tipu was famous because his resistance to the British Empire.

The fate of Tipu was sealed when in 1799 the British forces killed him in the infamous Battle of Seringapatam. The problem was that the British wanted to keep full trading powers in exclusivity via their East India Company... and the indians were not happy about the deal.

The battle was lost and British Lt.-General Sir Thomas Bowser, a leader in the British victory was awarded some spoils from that war. This golden head was part of it. 

  This beautiful piece -studded with diamonds, rubies and emeralds- was part of Tipu's throne. Tipu was known as the "Tiger of Mysore" and is considered one of the strongest and best governors that India has had. He loved tigers and used to be surrounded with opulent treasures and to have adopted the tiger as chief symbol of his power. 

Tipu and I used to have Assam tea and talk about tigers. We both loved danger. He surrounded himself with tigers and... I got married. Same thing.

There used to be as many as 10 golden tiger figures like this one.. but they are lost (only three still exists that we know).  this one was just sold by a Canadian family (not mine) for $700,000 as it was inside of a box, in the attic, collecting dust.

Zombies love fast food Part II

Here my good old friend Jaime was trying to gross-out a bunch of brainless little zombies by showing them what a real chicken nugget is.

What Jaime did not know is that of all zombies on the planet, little zombies are stubborn as hell. Once they like something, you can do anything to make them change their mind but you will fail miserably.

The home made Nuggets are basically the same recipe than the one used by big fast food corporations, less the food colouring and the ammonia. He did use artificial food flavour, though.

Zombies LOVE fast food!

Yes we do. We don't care how its made or where it comes from... if it tastes good we are game. One of the fast food best sellers of all times are... Chicken Nuggets , those lovely finger food sized pieces of heaven that zombies enjoy and that are considered a healthy alternative (to, lets say...a Big Mac).

How are they made?

Well... they separate the chicken mechanically and they use the parts that don't have commercial value (skin, bones, joints, etc) and they mix it all to form a goop-like material, which looks pink and has tons of bacteria...then, to get rid of the bacteria they "wash" the goop with ammonia and then they add artificial flavour to make it taste, well.. like chicken. To get rid of the weird pinkish colour, they use artificial colouring and...voila!... you have the most delicious snack. After that they just use bread crumbs and deep fry them. 

Some of you will say... its better than Mexican street tacos... but I would say that at least there you know what you are eating...

The picture is real...

Zombies and fashion

I don't know where the idea that zombies are to wear rags came from. I am setting the record straight today. Not all zombies dress like beggars. If you are one of those who still believes that all zombies come from the graveyard you are so wrong. Some of us are from Rodeo Drive.

In 1932, Bela Lugosi was the main star in White Zombie (first zombie movie ever made) and you don't see them wearing rags (some of them do, but Lady Gaga does too!). 

Zombies are about myths. One of the most annoying ones is that we don't know how to dress. Zombies wear all sort of clothing. Some lack of taste, I must admit, but that is another problem, but some are actually quite fancy and are on top of the fashion trends. I recently meet a zombie that paid a five figure number (US money, not pesos) for a COAT. My kind of zombie.

I am thinking about starting a Facebook page-petition asking Armani to create a whole series dedicated to zombies. I am sure he will.