Do Zombies Name Their Body Parts?

If you mean "naming body parts" as "cannons" for your arms, or "jr." for your penis, YES, we do. I have a body part that I call "Woody", because, like in Toy Story 3, nobody has touched it for the last 3 years. With the question of "what is this zombie is talking about", I leave you with zombie wishes for the last day of 2011... see'ya in 2012.

Light Decorated Homes. I Hate Them!

Zombies hate Christmas lights, but those computer-organized set-ups are just too much. I like Agry Birds, though...better than Plants Vs Zombies.

What to do if a Zombie Bites You -and you don't like it-

Simple. Use a zombie-aid and stop whining.

Two Dutch Zombies eat each other's flesh on TV show

That's right. If you are one of those who thinks that we eat flesh while hiding, you are wrong. Slowly but surely we are coming out of the closet. Thanks to Dutch TV, now we have some air time exposure. Watch out American Idol!

Cheap Zombies

Zombies are big spenders. We love to spend, no matter if we have the resources or not. Today, December 26th is a great day to spend money...some humans call it Boxing Day while others call it After Christmas Sales...

Go for it. As I have said in the past 2012 is the last year for this contaminated and stinky planet, so grab all they offer you in the stores and charge it to your credit cards. When there is no planet there is no payment... finally a payback to American Express.

Happy....Holidays?

Enjoy while you can...sooner than later we are going to get you. This is the Christmas card I used this year. I did not use the postman...I delivered each one of them by hand -through my neighbour's windows-

Stop this Sustainability Madness!

It has been long enough that people got into the fashionable idea of "sustainability". I am sick of it. There are "sustainable clothing", "sustainable practices", "sustainable materials", "sustainable approach", "sustainable architecture" of which this idiotic new building set is part of...in Singapore. Give me a break...how this horrible proposal can help, in any way this mega populated and polluted planet?...and they say zombies have no brains...

Good Idea, Bad Results

With Christmas near by, zombies get all distracted. All those lights (I hate LEDs!!!), the idea of bringing the forest into the house (weird humans)... we are just not focus. We were doing some construction work yesterday, placing metal poles so people won't park on the sidewalk...but we forgot to move our own car out of the way first.

Unfortunately our boss did not share the Christmas spirit and fired us all. Stupid festivities. Stupid boss.

Useless Christmas Gift Ideas I

I am kind of getting sick on all these "I-(put a name here)" thing. 

Zombie Christmas Present Idea IX

Zombies love presents!!!!... I for one have a mega-large Christmas present list. As I understand it, the world is divided in two: good and naughty. I have been very naughty, so I am ready to get the mother load of presents!!!. This one is on my list... 

Things I Learned in 2011

1. That democratic demonstrations look better in foreign countries.

Excuses Given to me by Female Zombies I

I have no luck with girls... they have the tendency to break up with me, quite fast, to be honest. I have compiled a list of all the explanations given to me when I am being dumped.
Today's choice:
"I need time to think"

Really?.... so that means that when you are with me I am so overwhelmingly handsome that I block your ability to think?????????.... give me a break.

Do Girls Talk Like This?

I am not sure, but surely I have heard most of these sentences before. I find this video funny and entertaining. Zombies love to have fun. We are fun entities. Zombies rock!

Zombies Hate Architects!

Zombies do not need a fancy place where to sleep. We are more outdoor kind of beings. It is not that we dislike architecture...we just don't see the point.
Now...proposals like this one in South Korea...that is another story. Some people dislike it, some just hate it. I see it as a 9-11 slap in the face. But what do I know...I am just a zombie.

Reasons Why Zombies Approve Necrophilia III

Actually these zombies are right!...zombies approve necrophilia because we do it based on the idea that both participants (although we love a triage) are...dead!

Christmas Ideas for Zombies XC

Zombies love gadgets and toys (specially male zombies). I like these Plants Vs Zombies figures that I play with when I am not looking for brains. It's like playing with Mini-me.

Creatures Scarier Than Zombies II

Even though, I am more afraid of the Man with the horse face that can talk...

Do Zombies like Nikes?

No we don't...actually we don't care. We will buy the runners that appeal the most to us, based on the few information available through TV, radio or other media advertising. The more they advertise the higher the chances that we will buy from them.
I am wearing my Nikes right now just because I loved this TV commercial.

Are Zombies Womanizers?

First of all not all zombies are male -let's be clear-. Secondly, zombies are loners, we dislike company. If at any given moment in time we decide to start a relationship, both parts know that is not going to be for a long run, mostly because one or the other will deteriorate faster than the better half.

Having that in mind, we get separation anxiety. To prevent us for getting the blues, we go to the taxidermist, who for a small amount of money can stuff the wife's head (funny enough wives have the tendency to just move on) and we display them in our living rooms. Is a nice way to remember and...to decorate!

How to Prepare for a Zombie Christmas 4

Start by learning some Zombie Christmas  Carols. Zombies love music but we hate improvisation. If you play an instrument just learn the tune, go outside and start cracking' ... zombies will find you. Don't get scared, we are there for the music not the brains. We will get to that when you stop playing.

How to Prepare for a Zombie Christmas 3

Start by decorating your home. Please avoid ugly ornaments like bows and Santa Claus images.... they are so 20th Century. Don't use a fake Christmas Tree...zombies hate fake. Go to your nearest forest and chop couple of trees. They are there for you to take and they are free!

Hang couple of Zombie-related Mistletoe so we know where to locate you when we get hungry for brains.

How to Prepare for a Zombie Christmas 2