A Halloween Present for My Vampire Friends

Why don't you all just die?...we have reached 7 billion. We don't need you. Die.

Ideas For Halloween Costumes III

To go with the times, and knowing that zombies are hot (yes we are)...here I share with you a GREAT halloween costume idea: the terrorist-zombie. It combines two of the biggest fears America have. Also is cheap to make at home. 

Tombstones to Remember CI

Everybody is entitled to their own opinion

In my world, everybody is entitled to their own opinion. The problem is that most of the time people's opinions are wrong.

From The Zombie Cook Book III. The Brain Shot

As halloween is upon us, and considering that I am a very sharing zombie, I am going to give you my secret and very personal recipe for some brain shots that will keep your guests wondering what is wrong with you.

This cute beverage is really simple to make and, considering the price of fresh brains nowadays, this can help you to improve your cool factor and not empty your bank account. First of all you will need vodka -please don't buy a cheap brand... we are zombies not Wall Street Cry Babies.

First pour the vodka with a tinny bit of lime juice, then using a thin straw drop a small amount of Bailey's irish Creme into the vodka/lime juice mixture. The Irish Cream will take the texture of brains...cool, now add a splash of grenadine into the shot to get the effect of blood and voila!!!!

Your welcome.

Insecurities...

If zombies hate something is insecurity...I think.

Of Heroes and Men

Zombies are very much into heroes. I love heroes, probably because I am one  (I am one, but please don't say anything). In today's troubled times, heroes are in demand and, thanks God, they are starting to come out of the closet and showing up everywhere, like my good friend Phoneix Jones who started kicking some ass couple of weeks ago in Seattle, Wa.

Phoenix was doing his job when the police got him and charged him with a pepper spray attack. My guess is that police didn't like competition or they are afraid that superheroes will actually turn them over to justice as most of the time they are the crooks.

If you are a superhero waiting to come out of the closet, please contact the Rain City Superhero Movement and let them know your values. Costume is required.

Games Children Play. Worldwide Edition IV

If one thing I have learned when traveling around the world is that children's games change accordingly to their culture, social and economic situation, environment and sadly, they tend to imitate what grownups do.
One associate games with fun, but I guess that idea is wrong. This is a sad example of that. Today this zombie is upset.

Night of the Vampire Chihuahuas!

Few people know that couple of weeks prior to Halloween, vampire chihuahuas come out and start attacking with no mercy. Don't say I did not advise you... be careful or you will suffer the consequences. 

Cracking The Batman Code

Zombies love Batman. He is one of us. I have been studying Batman for a long time -as a fact I have two PHDs on Batmanology and Supeherology-. but...he is a mystery. I am trying to crack the code and I feel I am closer than ever...

Ways to Break With Your Couple IV (Zombie Advise)

Just type: We have to talk... (better if done by using Messenger or Text Message). Also please remember it is way more fun if done while you are driving.

It's Easier to Hate

If something is clear to me (I feel philosophical today) is that is easier to hate than to love. That is what I like about this video. NOBODY would hug (even get near him) the guy without a loveable furry funny costume... at least as a zombie, I know that people won't try to get near me, which is fine with me. Go and hug furry cute bears please.

From The Book of Knowledge MIMICIX

Smart people are always full of doubts...isn't it?

Zombies are Resilient

Emergency crews called to an accident on a film set in Toronto were confronted with alarming blood and gore - but it wasn't as bad as it looked.

Actors dressed as zombies for the latest Resident Evil film were injured when a high platform moved suddenly.

"It did kind of catch us off-guard when we walked in," said police Sergeant Andrew Gibson.

Twelve actors were taken to hospital with injuries ranging from bruising to a broken leg.

"I could see the look on the first paramedic, saying 'Oh my God'," Toronto emergency medical services Commander David Ralph told Associated Press news agency.

The accident happened when the zombie actors were moving between two platforms at the Cinespace Film Studios in Toronto and a gap opened up, police said.

Seven of the injured zombies were walking again on the set later in the day.

There are Aliens and there are Aliens...

In this troubled world where everybody mistrusts everybody, mostly because their origin... we zombies must unite. Let's stop all aliens from invading our space and contaminate our beliefs and costumes. If we build a wall they will look to settle elsewhere. Save the species... save all zombies!!

How to be a REAL Woman 1.0

Because part of the mandate of this blog is to EDUCATE people, I am adding a new section in order to help all our little lady readers to improve themselves. Your welcome!
For those illiterate, what the sign says is "Look Beautiful!...Rest for 5 minutes (no more please) before your man arrives home so he can find you refreshed and sparkling.
Re-touch your make-up, put a ribbon on your hair and look your best for him. Remember that he has had a hard day and that he has only been around coworkers."

How Much Energy to Melt a Glacier?

Way back in the days, it was something to brag about. Now its wrong. Make up your mind people!

Life Unexplained

A fellow zombie just sent me this brief explanation on life (thanks MBB):


On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the
door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For
this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people,
do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year
life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the
field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have
calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will
give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play,
marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and
enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to
support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to
entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the
front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

What Did You Say?

It might seem that zombies speak your native tongue (English, Spanish, Russian, Argentinian, etc) but reality is that we speak, well...zombie. That is why most of the time we are tagged as not great conversationists. Actually, we have no idea what are you saying.

If you want to talk to us, please learn to speak zombie. Not that we care what you have to say, though...

To Kill A Mockingbird 1.0

People, stupid as they are, are always trying to find ways to annihilate all creatures that somehow are on what they think is their way. It doesn't matter if the excuse is to kill. To help you out, here is a simple-to-read chart on how to eliminate all sorts of creatures but your mother in law.

How Does Jihad Smells Like?

While on my one of my many travels looking for my brain I found this cologne in a place which I can't name because of security reasons. The picture speaks for itself, though.