Ison...The ZOMBIE Comet!!!

That is right!
Ison the comet that was going to amaze us... according to NASA died when got to close to the sun. But...OH OH OH... it came back to life hours later!
So...now you know... there is such thing as a Zombie Comet...

Zombie Teacher Wisdom I

Teaching is the greatest act of optimism... do you ever wonder WHY Zombies don't eat children's brains?... they have no brains at all!!!!!

Where Do Zombies Hide?

Yeah right...as if I am going to tell you. A VERY secret bunker... I hid it so well that I had to post some secret clues to find it...

Zombies Secret Agenda Revealed!

YES. It is true. Zombies DO HAVE a secret agenda. We have tried to keep it as a secret so humans wouldn't notice and try (yes TRY because they will never succeed!) to eliminate us. Because I do believe in the internet privacy, here is an advance.

Please notice that the agenda is encoded. If you can't read it, it only means that is not meant for you -you are not a REAL zombie-. In that case... sorry. Part 2 to come...

Why Do Zombies Walk Soooo Slow?

Easy. If we walk fast then we have more chores to do during the day. The slower you are the less work is expected from you.

Zombie Heart Broken!

YES, I WAS in a relationship...until yesterday. I received an email (an email!) from my ex that reads:

"Dear Zombielove: when you met me I was a mess. My self esteem was at its lowest point ever. Every day I was with you, you made me feel better to the point where I feel now that I am a star, that there is hope that it is worth living. I hate you for that. I loved my low self esteem. Rot in hell stupid zombie. XXX OOO "

From The Book Of Knowledge CXLIV

For lonely zombies insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations (Zombie Nation Rules!) and epochs... insanity is the rule.

Do God Love Zombies?

Of course he does!...otherwise he would be a racist.

Zombies Aren't Smokers!

Have you ever seen a zombie smoke?...NOPE. Zombies ain't smokers. We have not contributed a penny towards the purchase of any of the 5 trillion cigarettes sold last year. Healt conscious you ask?...no...zombies are cheapos.

...We are talking cigarettes, right?

JUSTICE for Veteran Zombies!

YES, zombies honor Veterans. We have been to war but we just get ignored by pitiful  humans. We have been to almost all wars... it just happen that we have survived... and, as we are considered "undead" then we don't get the satisfaction of the Memorial celebration nor we get a Veterans pension ... and they say to us that the fact is:
1. Zombies are NOT dead...therefore no Memorial for zombies!
2. Zombies are NOT alive...therefore no pension!

JUSTICE!...I want MY Memorial AND my pension... both at the same time. It's just fair.

From The Book of Zombie Etiquette CXXIV

Always wait until your hosts have gone before masturbating at the dinner table.

Can Zombies Talk?

Sure we can talk...it just happens that there is nothing else to say: everything to say has been said.