Do Zombies Like Trailing?

Not really. If we are out there, we walk and funny enough people are the ones running. We rather watch TV.

Do Zombies Wash Their Clothes?

That is a stupid question. Of course not!...we dry clean.

I Witnessed My Own Autopsy!

It is a freaky feeling, but I am though...I can take it -faint-

Zombies love Cookies

But not just any cookies...we like zombie cookies!

Do Zombies Smoke?

We do not smoke...we use smoking as an attractor for women. It is a fact that if you blow in a woman's face she will follow you anywhere.

The Iron Lady is Dead!

I really don't know what I will do now... I like to have all my clothes perfectly ironed... sad zombie.

What happened to Titanic Lifeboats?

Ha!

According to a friend of my great grandmother's second  cousin niece...they disappeared. That actually is a fact. To start with all lifeboat's nameplates were gone right away, they say, although there is not a single picture that shows a lifeboat with Titanic on it...and the boats were sold as scrap before the hearings. Zombies actually believe that the Titanic was...gasp...the Olympic and that the whole ordeal was an insurance scam -insert Twilight music here-. The boats were the Olympic's,

Zombie Toothpaste !

Following my good friend's advise, I decided to try the "brushing your teeth experience thing... so first things first, I bought (I am a zombie not a thief) zombie tooth paste. I will give it a try tonight after brain supper...tonight is Brain Stew!  

Do Zombies Get a Haircut?

I actually shave my head...it is cheaper and cooler, besides that I actually look like Mr Clean. A common job for zombies is actually a barber, but we don't last long on those jobs.

Was Jesus Jewish?

On a series of 4 posts I will try to identify Jesus' origins:

Was he a Jew?'

Let's see...
1. He worked at the same business he father owned.
2. He lived at home until he married (let's assume) ... at 33 years of age.
3. He was sure his mom was a virgin and his mother was 100% sure that he was God himself.

Tomorrow paradigm 2.

Do Zombies Sleep?

I do sleep. Actually I sleep like a baby -I wake up every three hours and cry-

Zombies Ain't Blasphemous!

But these guys are...zombies do not fear God, but fear Museums (they might keep us for display).

I Found Salvation!

Or at least I found chocolate...zombies love chocolate and don't care about salvation.

Easter for Zombies

We love Easter. It is the only time when celebrating a zombie becomes sociable acceptable.

Do Zombies Use Money?

Nope. All our basic needs are free. Sometimes we use bitcoins (not cash...that is so 20th Century!) to buy our Star Wars and Lord of The Rings collectibles.

Obsession

Yes, I know...brains...

Toy Story - Sad Story

Zombies dislike Toy Story (from 1 to 4)...zombies hate sad. We are happy creatures. Toy Story sad you ask?...it is bout a left alone child from a horrible divorce, look at the facts:
1. You never see the Dad
2. They are moving (to a smaller house)
3. The mom's wedding ring is off in the shot where she pick up the Buzz box
4. Andy is introverted and emotionally attach to inanimate masculine figures
5. They get a puppy (common in divorce cases)

Zombies Ain't Bad Guys

Oh, well... the concept of evil has changed quite a bit. I miss my childhood bad ass guys. Sight...

Job Posting -Great Opportunity-

This zombie is very busy and he is getting busier. I am looking for help. The add is self explanatory. Please apply within.

Where is Argentina?

When I heard about the new Pope and they mentioned that he is from Argentina...I have to be honest...I did not have a clue where that extrange  place is...until now.

Vatican Nepotism!

So...we know as a fact that God is Argentinian...but...an Argentinian Pope also?....Nepotism!

Black Smoke at The Vatican!

Fire!...call the firemen!!!!!!!

I Wish I were a Man!

Ha Ha....IF I were a woman!....because being a zombie is a life choice...being a woman is, well... just bad luck.

Zombies Hate Fridays

Usually they start rotten...it gets worst as the day goes on. Hate Fridays.

My Favourite Signs I

I am not stupid. I never touch signs...they are disgusting. Zombies dislike disgusting

Zombie Prophecy II FULFILLED!

YES. You can say you read it here first -January 2013-. The Zombie has spoken...again. Watch out for the other 10 prophecies. I am infallible.

Zombies LOVE Doughnuts!!

And I mean... LOVE. So far, one of my favourite spots is Voodoo doughnuts in Portland. Their Zombie doughnut is to die for...

DO Zombies Go to The Doctor?

Well...I don't like to admit it, but we do go to doctors. Just right now I am feeling a bit off and I have to go to the clinic. I am just waiting for them to get a surgeon.

Not The Red Shoes!

I have just been informed that the guy that left the Pope position (don't remember his name nor I care) can't take with him the famous red shoes that apparently Jesus used long time ago and now are mandatory Pope fashion . As I am such a good zombie I am willing to LEND him mine. I want them back in a month, though.

Goodbye American Pie

Sad Zombie, sad Pope. Goodbye pope (no capitals anymore) you will be missed by....us. One sad day for zombies.