Is Charlie Sheen a Zombie?

He certainly looks like one, no doubt. After his 20/20 interview the Council of Operating Thetans (one of the most recognized zombie organizations) got together and had a 6 hour meeting to make an informed decision. We came to the conclusion that NO, Charlie Sheen is not a zombie.

We sent the file to AAA to see if he was one of them and it was sent back to us. Then we sent the file to Narcotics Anonymous and the same happened. We were confused... we don't know what to do with his file. Seems that UFO's Anonymous is claiming that he belongs to their organization. Tom Cruise's case was like that...until we came to the conclusion that he was a completely new species. We are working on it.  Stay tuned.