And the Zombie Christmas present of the year goes to...

From Etsy. Honestly..great !

Zombie Christmas Cookie

Dark in Netflix is about zombies !

Ha!
We are back baby. We are back.

The Last Jedi. The battle of the zombies!

Oh yes..I couldn't decide who looks zombier...honest.

What makes a zombie a zombie?

A haircut!

11 is a zombie!

You see? It really how you know us...we come in all forms and shapes. 11 is our public relations gold winner this year. She did great promo for us all zombies.

Zombies Fear Life!

Oh yes...we do fear somethings...life and unbaked cheesecake.

Did Zombies Voted for Hillary?

So..OK.. we did vote and YES we are not in the registry -even though we wanted to register as voters we ended eating the guys in charge of registration- but c'mon .. for Hillary?

Will Canada survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

Well...it depends. The ones who live East most likely will die quite fast: to start with they don't speak Zombie...they speak French! and zombies hate French (well actually they hate everyone but is because we have issues) then the ones in the middle will die, first the 50% who live in Cities and the other 50% will die later on when we manage to find them...but they most likely die of boredom (what do they do there for entreatment?) and the ones near the West Coast, well they will probably survive because they hardly go out as they are so busy working to pay for their houses that are ridiculously expensive...those will die of exhaustion or wealth, whichever comes first...

Mexicans need Zombie Advice!

Oh Mr. Trump... do the math: there are way more Mexicans than zombies...and we climb walls like there is no tomorrow. We are opening a Zombie School in Mexico so we can teach our Mexican colleagues to climb walls...is SO easy!

Robo Zombies?

And then again...zombies are the new black. In HBO's series Westworld all I see is zombies. They live, they die in the most horrible ways (Game of Thrones Anyone?) and they come back. They comply with the definition of a zombie. westworld is about zombies.

By the way...is it me or HBO is being eco-responsible and is recycling sets?..the background is Game of Thrones' Temple of the Thousand faces....ha!

Is The OA a Zombie?

OK...besides the ridiculous interpretative dance that is performed here and there in the show (which opens another question: do zombies dance?) I wonder if the TV has just found a new way to sell stories about zombies.

The OA, aka Original Angel (do not mess with me as I am the Original Zombie OZ) has died -many times it seems- and comes back to life. According to the Oxford dictionary, she IS a zombie.

Do Zombies sleep with their sisters?

Hopefully not. We had enough of the sibling effect in GOT....

Can a Zombie die...and come back...twice?

So...John Snow, zombie extraordinaire de Game of Thrones is coming back for the semi-season finale in March 2017...but...he is to die -gasp- again and reborn as Dragon Lord... Ha! and James Bond said that you can die only once!

Zombie Basic Training I

A day without sunlight is not the same as a night. It just looks like it.

Safety School for Zombies

Do not trust a human who is holding a chainsaw on the wrong end of a chainsaw...he might hurt himself and spoil the fun for you.

Zombie Inspirational Quotes I

Do not think yourself as an ugly human. Think yourself as a beautiful zombie.

The Bastard is Gone!

...for now. Some say Jon Snow will come back and some say he won't. I say that if he comes back he will do so as a zombie. Game of Thrones meets Walking Dead.

Zombie Park!

While I await the release of the movie Jurassic World, I have decided to crowdsource my very own zombie movie: Zombie Park. I am working on my Kickstarter campaign and I an just publishing production details. I have already contacted Steven Spielberg and J.J. Adams and as soon as they say yes, then I'll post my campaign. When a supporter invests $100.00 or more they will actually be a zombie in the movie; if they invest $500.00 they get to be an upfront zombie and if they give $1,000 then they actually will have a spoken part!!! (something like: hmmmmmnns, or grsfdhkjak, or basbasb....) now... if they want to be chased by a zombie, then they can choose to do so.

More details coming soon. Zombie Park, the movie soon in Kickstarter!

How to Educate a Zombie Kid IV

Educating a zombie kid is not an easy task...most of the times it feels as if you were talking to a dead kid. In a typical zombie family every adult member helps to raise a child, and of course mothers are the number one educators, for example:

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB  WELL  DONE

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning."

Why Zombies do not Believe in God III

He is a one hit wonder.

The zombie that couldn't masturbate 1.0

At the beginning there was no masturbation. There was only... Adam...the very first human . He was unable to pleasure himself because it didn't matter how much we wanted to create an exiting image that would make him have an erection...all he could imagine were lakes, trees and animals... he was the only one. Alone. Then God felt pity for him and gave him Eve. At the beginning the two of them were so happy. Eventually she lost interest and he started masturbating.

That is, as a fact, the origin of masturbation -and this is not a wikipedia article-. Now you know.

50 Shades of Zombie

And we are being generous!

We have more shades...but better than that...we have rigor mortis, permanent rigor mortis as a fact...:

which woman can resist that?

Beware of Bart the Zombie Cat!

For those who still can't accept the fact that zombies are a reality, here from today news!!

Bart the cat was hit by a car, buried and crawled back from the dead — literally.

Earlier this month, a car hit the one-and-a-half-year-old cat in Tampa, Fla.. Bart's owner was so distraught, he couldn't stand the thought of burying him, so he asked a neighbour to dig a shallow grave.

Five days later, on Jan. 21, a matted and injured Bart emerged, meowing for food.

'This cat was dead'

"At first it blew me away," said Dusty Albritton, the neighbor who buried Bart. "All I knew was this cat was dead and Pet Sematary is real.'

Bart had a broken jaw, a ruptured eye and a torn-up face. He was dehydrated and hungry, but alive.

The Humane Society of Tampa Bay posted this photo of Bart the cat to their Facebook page. Bart underwent successful surgery Tuesday to repair his jaw and remove his eye. (Humane Society of Tampa Bay/Facebook)

Owner Ellis Hutson didn't know what to do.

"It was unbelievable," he told The Tampa Bay Times. "I've never seen anything like that before."

Hutson got in touch with the Humane Society of Tampa Bay, which through the Save-A-Pet Medical Fund will help cover the costs of Bart's care. On Tuesday, the cat underwent surgery to remove an eye, wire his jaw shut and insert a feeding tube, which cost more than $1,000 US.

Who will be next? Grandma?

Vegan Zombie Apocalypse!

Yes, it is true... its happening all over. James Cameron wanted the rights to make the movie... didn't get them (we are picky) ...

Zombie's 2015 Financial Guide I

So, the year ends, this zombie is tired but willing to help my brothers (yes, I have been watching Marco Polo in Netflix) and what can be better than giving you all the best of the best advise I can give for the year 2015 which seems to be a great zombie year!

Let's get to it then:

Pay off your credit cards every month in full... with your other credit cards. If you ran out of credit cards...sign up for new ones.

Save some money for a rainy day. That way you can shop online instead of having to go to an actual store (and anyways...people always start screaming when we go shopping at the mall...which is annoying)

My accountant advises me to keep better records throughout the year. I keep telling him that records are very 50's...I can listen my iPod (who buys records nowadays?)

Invite your friends for a drink (who doesn't love free drinks?) and look for investors for your "home office" business. If it fails then do a Kickstarter campaign.

Avoid getting a divorce by practicing polygamy...half the planet is doing it and now its the rave!

Borrow things more often. Return then less often.

Visit the grocery store more often -later at night when there is not that many screaming humans-  than restaurants, especially when free samples are being served.

Call your grandma and tell her that you are about to go to jail for helping a little orphan...she will send you money right away.

Star Wars The Force Awakens Movie Poster Preview...exclusive!

Again, this zombie site is ahead of all the Star Wars Dorks. This is the real stuff.... your welcome!

My Zombie Resolutions for 2014

New Year's is not a great day for zombies as we hate noise, crowds -they are scary-, music and....fireworks. Drinking is fine but we don't need a Human Celebration to do so.

Every year I do my resolutions for the following year...and I never accomplish anything, so this year I decided to be more realistic knowing that maybe I will do some of them:

1. Start washing my hands after I use the restroom. Faucets are more disgusting than the can.
2. Clean my behind after going to the toilet. People are complaining than zombies smell...
3. Stop drinking orange juice after I just brushed my teeth. I will drink coke instead.
4. Stop licking my genitals. They are getting a bit...wet and moldy
5. Only get divorced and remarried once this year.
6. Watch more movie remakes, follow up movies (where is Rocky X?), and Cable TV...just because I love repetition, yes I love repetition, repetition is good, repetition...
7. Advise my son to go back to school to avoid paying his student loans.He can study History of Marilyn Monroe, Fried Eggs 101 -again as he failed last year-, etc
8. Only eat only stupid and annoying people's brains. This year I almost die of starvation.
9. Keep it to myself that I have trouble with authority when I'm being confronted by humans holding a machete or a machine gun.
10. Spend less than $1825 for coffee at Starbucks this year. Zombies LOVE coffee. Instead I'll go to the nearest Pub or Bar or Cantina or Liquor Store...
11. Claim all my friend's wives as dependents on my taxes.

And I have more...it just happens that I'm hungry and it's time for braiiiiiiiins!

Cuban Zombies!...are back

So, the South American Zombie King, The Complainer One, the one who satisfies his thirst not with blood but with ultra sugary expressos... collaborates with this new video. I actually dying to watch it...what can be better than Spanish speaking with Cuban accent zombies?...in Miami?

Zombie's Christmas Presents Ideas 2014

So, you feel guilty but just can figure it out why. You wake up and feel guilty, go to bed and feel guilty. YES...sometimes zombies feel guilt, the only difference is that we do something about it.

When zombies feel guilty we resource to distraction to ease our busy minds...and we do everything we can to avoid a visit to the therapist. That's why we write to Santa and ask for "ease your mind" gifts.

Dear Santa: this Christmas all I want is the Thorn Glove (you can get it from Iceland's Design firm Sruli Recht). I have been told that once you put them on...you can't remove them...and not because you love them but because they will keep most of your hand's skin. Awesome !

The gloves are made of Icelandic basking shark skin and the lining consists of hundreds of hand-held needles that come form some sort of poisonous fish. Fortunately the poison has been removed.

I promise to use them daily, for two reasons: first, I like my hands with skin on and second because they cost about $4,000 US.

Please Santa.....